The world has transitioned into an era of online dating and we’re all trying to keep up the pace. But on your quest for true love, you’re bound to come across a few speed bumps on the road. We all know that pandemics happen, people exaggerate, and misunderstandings are always lurking in the corner of a conversation. What’s a girl got to do?
Hey ladies! It’s Stacey Speller and I wanted to share with you really quickly today about a challenge that I’m seeing a lot recently!!
If you haven’t yet, make sure you download the FREE guide on My Top 10 Tips of Why You’re Still Single.
Okay, back to the challenge:
Online dating during COVID
COVID has changed the online dating scene and this is the most important thing you can focus on.
So you meet someone and you want to get to know them and go on date. But in COVID, you’re not quick to go want to meet somebody at Starbucks or go have a drink with them.
Because if this is going to be a dud and if it’s not going to go anywhere, then who wants to have to go get masked up and go somewhere to see what this may or may not be?
So you’re actually doing a lot more communication on the front-end before you even start to think about whether or not you get tested and get masked up, to go meet up— all the things that dating now require.
But here’s the challenge: what happens if there’s something about your communication style that’s repelling the guy before you even have your first date?
Now, I will tell you that I see this as a challenge for a lot of professional, ambitious, and strong women.
Especially depending on what career profession you’re in. If you’re in a career profession where you’re working around a lot of men, or you’re a leader in your career, then you may have a communication style that works great professionally…
BUT when you translate that into your personal life, it may not work as well.
However, that doesn’t mean that you have to change who you are.
So I will use myself as an example.
I have a very very direct communication style. In fact, some of you probably follow me and watch videos and connect with me because of my directness. I go straight for the jugular. I say it straight up, you know, it’s like straight up no chaser. BOOM!
But my natural communication style may come across in those negative ways.
What’s your communication style?
Perhaps you’re a lot more laidback or a lot more milquetoast. You may have come across as indecisive or you’re not sure. These patterns tend to send mixed signals to guys and have them thinking, “She doesn’t even know what she wants. How am I supposed to know?”
So all of those things become really important as you’re trying to date and navigate through online dating. Especially during COVID! Because it could be your communication style that’s stopping you from finding true love.
Now don’t go freaking out about how you speak. Take a deep breath and release your worry because that’s one of the things I work on with the women I coach.
We go deep into what is your communication style.
Depending on what that is, it’s always going to have huge implications on your love life. It’s also all based on how you’re wired.
When you’re trying to get to know someone, especially through a video screen— how you’re communicating becomes so much more important.
And yes, I know there are people who can offer you a script and tell you to say this and that. That when you say “the right thing”, he will think you’re irresistible. That if you text in a certain style, he’ll automatically think you’re wonderful.
Listen, good scripts are not going to cut it when you’re trying to build a meaningful relationship!
Because life doesn’t go according to a plan or a script. And besides, the minute you veer off-script, you’re going to be lost. You’ll end up thinking, “Okay, now what do I say? How should I handle this, what should I do?”
The most important thing you can do with online dating is to get to the core of how you are actually communicating. What are you bringing to the table? How are you coming across?
You may be coming across in a way that you really don’t intend to, so you need to work on that. I want to encourage you right now to challenge yourself and say,
“Wait a minute. Let me take a look and evaluate this: how am I communicating?”
What should you do moving forward?
From this point on, I want you to evaluate how you’re coming across. Ask yourself if you want to accelerate that and do a deep dive with it. That’s something I do with my assessments and I can help you out with. What we can do is to actually have a 1:1 opportunity to spend an hour looking at how you communicate and what you may need to tweak.
Leave me a comment below and let me know some of the challenges you’ve experienced with online dating.
In fact, it can be beneficial to get your communication style on point because online dating is here to stay AND COVID is going to be around for a while.
I’m sure we all thought it’d be over by now, but it’s still sticking around. Your ability to communicate and represent yourself well has become so much more important as we now have to date in a digital age.
So be sure to get my FREE guide on My Top 10 Tips On Why You’re Still Single. Download Here.
Let me know if this is something that you are dealing with right now as you’re trying to navigate the romance department! As always, I love to hear from you so leave a comment below!
