What are you noticing about how busy you are this week? And what that feels like? What might making room for better rather than busy mean for you?
Last time I was musing about what it looks like to let go of busy. This is not necessarily about making huge changes to our lives to drop a ton of stuff, or becoming a monk and living in a cave. It is about noticing what we can control, and how we perceive our busyness. For me, this has been learning to be more present and mind-full to the task immediately at hand and in so doing, stilling some of the mental chatter.
Making room for better.
Nothing can be changed until it is faced. You have heard me say this many a time. And it is true – awareness is key. As we seek to understand our busyness and how we can let go of busy and make room for better, it helps to ask ourselves some questions:
What does TOO busy look and feel like for ME?
When I am too busy, what is going on in me? How do I feel? What is going on in my body?
How does my behaviour change? What happens to my sleep, self-care? What gets shoved to the side? Who suffers most?
This is about starting to identify the cost of being too busy. This might be stress/pain/tension in our bodies, or lack of time and care for ourselves, or loved ones getting trampled on. But changes can start when we identify the cost and become disillusioned with how that feels.
What season am I in currently?
How does that impact my busyness levels? If you have young children or elderly parents needing a lot of time and care, or a particularly demanding time at work, or your own health issues – it might well be that a level of acceptance is required.
Naming this as a particularly busy season allows me to stop railing against it.
There is then more space to ask:
What are my priorities in this season? What is most important – relationships, health, work, finances?
How and where can I block off enough time to care for myself so I don’t end up in a frazzled heap in the corner?
What can I let go of?
Because the reality is that we can’t do it all.
We often want to, and I can be very deeply invested in my own perceived beliefthat I can do everything, can keep going indefinitely and am invincible.
But a recent experience of a painful shoulder and a trip to a wonderful physio brought home the stark reality that my body simply cannot keep going. My shoulder pain was my body’s way of trying to get my attention.
I had run out of compensatory mechanisms and needed to make changes.
It’s a great story, and you can read it here.
Perhaps I can say no to a few things, or at least label them as ‘Not Yet’s.
Maybe reduce the time I spend in activities that I identify as mindless numbing – social media, late night TV channel hopping, whatever it is for you.
Or a physical declutter. A lot of stuff means a lot of stuff to manage. Sometimes, the sensory overload of clutter and piles of undealt-with-stuff is energy sapping. There is nothing like having clearer physical space to bring mental clarity and peace.
Acceptance and self-compassion are important here. Being able to give ourselves permission to accept that we cannot do this at all, or now, or not yet, or to the fullest extent that we would like.
Making room for better: what can I do a little more of?
When you think about how busyness feels in your body, what does that tell you about what you need? That might then be a clue as to what might be helpful to do a little more of. Making room for better is in part about identifying life giving and soul restoring activities or space that simply serve to bring a little refreshment, and adding them in.
Perhaps sitting for a few minutes in silence, to give your weary brain a rest. More on types of rest and what our rest needs are here.
Perhaps adding in a little time outside, a little more exercise or movement, time for some simple creative pursuit. For me, doing something creative helps me shift from over-thinking brain to creative, engaging brain and this alone is enough to give me some mental rest.
Making room for better.
This is in part a mind-set shift. Noticing, making small changes, practicing new ways of seeing our lives, reassessing. Practicing being present to what we are doing and to why we are doing it takes…well, practice.
More on that here.
But as always, choosing to not judge ourselves, growing in our awareness of where we want to change, and taking things one step at a time is what bears fruit and brings growth.
