In the intricate dance of social interactions, each culture crafts its own choreography of manners, with France pirouetting with a particularly formal flair. Indeed, the very term “etiquette” springs from French roots, a nod to the nation’s long-held ceremonial traditions.
This sophistication often mystifies Americans, who might mistake France’s structured social codes for aloofness. Yet, during your sojourn on the French Riviera, a diligent embrace of these conventions will help to peel back the layers of perceived standoffishness, revealing a reciprocal warmth and graciousness from the locals.
As we delve into the essentials of French social etiquette, it becomes clear that understanding and adherence can transform our encounters, turning formalities into bridges of cultural connection. Understanding these subtleties will reflect your respect for local customs.
Greetings
In the sun-drenched locales of the French Riviera, the art of greeting takes on a charm as warm as the Mediterranean sun. A courteous “Bonjour, Madame/Monsieur” during the daylight hours or a gentle “Bonsoir” as evening approaches isn’t just polite—it’s your entry ticket into the gracious world of Riviera society. The locals, often fluent in English, typically appreciate these French flourishes and are likely to respond with warmth, switching effortlessly to English to accommodate language learners keen on practicing their French.
If you’re emboldened to dip your toes into conversational French along the glamorous stretches from Saint-Tropez to Menton, remember to navigate the delicate nuance between “tu” and “vous.” Opt for the more formal “vous” to avoid faux pas, reflecting the Riviera’s blend of casual elegance and formal traditions. It’s also wise to moderate any exuberance in initial interactions; the Riviera’s chic demeanor is polished yet reserved, welcoming gentle cordiality over boisterous familiarity.
Tipping
When it comes to tipping, the service charge is already included, hidden in your bill as “service compris”. This is a mandatory (by law) 15% service charge that’s already included in the prices you see on the menu. If you see the service charge separated out on the bill, this is illegal and you should point that out and have it removed.
Lately, some restaurants have added a “Tip is not included” line, in English, to the bottom of the bill. This is misleading, as the prices on any menu does include service. You should not tip one cent more at a restaurant that includes this note on the bill.
Unlike in the USA, where waiters live off tips, in Europe waiters are paid a very good wage (higher even than secretarial staff, or other office positions) and tipping is not part of the culture here. Locals would like to keep it that way.
While there is no obligation to tip further, you may leave an a few euros in cash at a cafe if the service was exceptional. It can be seen as gauche to tip at an upscale restaurant as these are serviced by well-trained career waitstaff, and they view themselves as a level above the casual waitstaff that get coins for tips at a cafe. Tipping excessively will be perceived as ostentatious.
The locals hate it when Americans and Russians come to France and tip, as they view the tipping culture as toxic, as it encourages waiters and restaurants to treat tourists better than locals, hold table reservations in case a tourist books, and keep the better tables for tourists, etc.
That said, you can give one euro per suitcase carried to a hotel porter, and it’s nice to leave some cash for maid staff at hotels. The only way to make sure that a maid gets the tip is to leave it under a pillow or somewhere discreet, as other staff often do a quick scan of the rooms to see if anything valuable was left behind, before the maids get there.
Also note that if you add extra money via credit card (rather than giving cash), that money will go to the owner, not the staff.
As Rick Steves points out: “Please believe me — tipping 15 or 20 percent in Europe is unnecessary, if not culturally ignorant. You’re just raising the bar and messing up the local balance. And it’s bad style.”
Table Manners
Along the French Riviera, where dining is as much a part of the fabric of society as the azure seas, mastering table manners is essential. Adhering to the continental style, one should hold the fork in the left hand, tines facing downward, and the knife in the right, a method that elegantly complements the region’s culinary traditions. When enjoying a meal, it’s customary to keep the fork’s tines pointed down as you bring food to your mouth.
In France, as in many places, resting elbows on the table is frowned upon. However, it’s customary to keep both hands in view on the table, which differs from the American habit of resting hands in the lap. Posture and demeanor at the table are also governed by understated elegance. One should sit up straight, chew quietly, and maintain a moderate volume when laughing or speaking.
Restaurants
Navigating the nuances of dining in France, particularly on the sophisticated French Riviera, requires a blend of timing and tradition. The most important rule is to keep your voice down, and respect that you’re not the only guests in the restaurant — that other people want to have conversations without overhearing yours. Your voice should be low enough so that what you’re saying cannot be overheard.
Unlike in the UK and USA, it’s considered very rude and inconsiderate to speak in a loud voice or get buzzed on booze.
The French typically adhere to strict meal times, and you might find it challenging to secure a full meal in the late afternoon or early evening, as many restaurants close between lunch and dinner services. Making reservations is not just recommended; it’s often essential. Punctuality is valued, so arriving on time, or notifying the restaurant if you are delayed, is considered good manners.
Restaurant tables in France are often placed closely together, but if the people seated near you are French, don’t let that inspire you to chat up your neighbors. Despite this closeness, it’s customary to respect the privacy of those around you. Engaging in unsolicited conversation or inquiring about someone else’s meal is not in keeping with the local, more reserved etiquette.
Shopping
When entering a shop along the French Riviera, it’s polite to greet the shopkeeper with a friendly “bonjour, madame/monsieur,” and to say “au revoir” upon leaving. Historically, in upscale boutiques and designer shops, salesclerks might have expected you to ask for permission before handling items, viewing this as a sign of respect and caution. However, this strict etiquette has softened over time. Today, it is generally acceptable for customers to browse and handle merchandise carefully on their own initiative, reflecting a more relaxed approach to customer interaction in retail settings.
Public Behavior
In France, certain behaviors are traditionally seen as breaches of public decorum. Speaking loudly or occupying excessive space, especially in confined areas like public transportation, can be perceived as inconsiderate. Eating or speaking on your phone on public transportation is also frowned upon, reflecting a broader cultural emphasis on maintaining public order and cleanliness. Additionally, conducting video calls in confined or indoor common spaces, such as hotel lounges, is considered incredibly impolite, as it can disrupt the quiet atmosphere and privacy of others.
Oddly, while friendliness is valued, smiling at strangers on the street is not commonplace and can be interpreted as unusual or overly familiar behavior.
Clothing
On the French Riviera, sartorial elegance is not just appreciated but expected, reflecting the region’s glamorous lifestyle. Leave behind the casual attire like jogging suits, ratty t-shirts, and running shoes, as the local dress code leans towards chic and sophisticated.
A leisurely pastime like people-watching from a sidewalk café will quickly reveal the sharp contrast between the relaxed tourist attire and the meticulously curated outfits of the locals. For example, it’s a common sight to see seniors dressed impeccably in neatly tailored garments, complete with accessories like scarves and hats, embodying the Riviera’s timeless style. Even young children are often dressed fashionably, sporting adorable scarves and well-coordinated outfits.
This attention to dress extends to dining etiquette on the Riviera as well. For instance, men might be required to wear a blazer and tie in more formal dining settings, and most upscale restaurants adhere to a strict dress code that excludes shorts and sandals. Here’s a French Riviera fashion guide for women.
Phrases to Know
- Bonjour – Hello
- Au revoir – Goodbye
- Merci – Thank you
- S’il vous plait – Please
- Excusez-moi de vous déranger, Madame/Monsieur. – “Excuse me for bothering you, ma’am/sir”. Begin your questions with this phrase so as not to appear rude.
