How easy do you find it to leave work at work? On our musings on end of life regrets, this one comes next.
In these post pandemic days where WFH – Working from Home, or simply Working for many – is much more common, it can be harder than ever to differentiate between work and normal life.
And all too easy to allow working time to eat into family time, leisure time, anything-but-work time.
This deathbed regret is quoted so often that it tends to lost it’s impact. There is an irony here – we are designed to work, and have an in-built desire to provide for those we love. But if we are honest, sometimes we justify excessive time at work by arguing that we are providing for our families, when our families would rather have more of us, physically present to them, than whatever we think we are providing.
Now of course, with all these regrets, it is never as simple as that, and being committed to your job, giving of your best, working with integrity and sometimes going the extra mile are important.
But the underlying principle is a very straightforward one:
What is most important to you in life, and how much time do you spend on that?
Work will always be there, hard to escape in a world of 24 hour communication.
But imagine getting to the end of your life and looking back – don’t be in the position of having missed out on precious time with your nearest-and-dearest because of never-ending work commitments. Do your job well, and then leave it at work. It will still be there when you die, but your relationships might not be.
Easier said than done perhaps?
What are some strategies to help leave work at work?
Have clear boundaries on work time and non work time, especially with email. Email can be such a dank swamp of an energy drain. Perhaps choose to check it twice a day only, and not after a certain time in the day/evening.
Keep the To-Do list to a minimum, or have only two or three clear priority tasks for each day. A never-ending To-Do list of work tasks is just that – a constant nagging reminder of what we have failed to do. But those jobs will still be there the next day. Focus on the top priority for each day first.
Acknowledge at the end of the working day what you HAVE achieved and done well. We too easily see what we have not done and where we have failed. Allow yourself a minute to appreciate your achievements, and then take a minute to note down what did not get done today that is a priority for tomorrow.
Have a transition routine between work and non work. That might be tidying your desk, ticking things off a list or writing a gratitude list, changing clothes, putting away tech, switching off notifications. Whatever it is, ritualise it so that it serves as a mental and physical boundary for you. As you change clothes, choose to let go of the day and leave it at work.
Let go mentally and physically. There will always be things you could have done differently or better. Such is life. But dwelling on them and stewing over them robs you of peace and potentially robs your loved ones of you. What can you control? Make a note of what you want to do tomorrow in response to what you have identified. You can not control the reactions or thoughts of others, so as hard as it is, practice letting go of regrets, frustrations and recriminations over events that are now in the past. It is not worth the energy or head space. You and you alone control the direction of your thoughts. Letting go is a skill that can be learned. You have done hard things before, and you can do this too. More on that here.
Create space for something other than work. Hobbies of any kind that are a focus outwith work are a great reason to get away from work. What inspires you, energises and motivates you? What gets your creative juices flowing that brings head space, creative rest and a mental switch off from work?
Whatever it is, embrace it with the same energy you would an important work task. And keep going, recognising that progress is never linear. Regreting giving something you love up is another common death bed regret, so give yourself grace and respect to learn, be clear on why you are committing to this, and enjoy the process.
What is one thing you can do this week to leave work at work?
