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Allowing Life to Refine You

Allowing Life to Refine You

Posted on October 21, 2024 By rehan.rafique No Comments on Allowing Life to Refine You

Allowing Life to Refine You

I’ve been through a lot.  And I mean A LOT.  If you know my story, it includes rape, molestation, toxic marriages and divorce, abuse of all kinds, loss to wildfire and breast cancer.  But that was from birth to about 53.  In the past 5 years, I’ve had life continue to happen FOR me on an even deeper level.  Like, totally hitting bottom and having NO MONEY or RESOURCES.  Moving 7 or more times.  Betrayal.  Love loss.  Business woes.  Health issues.  And you know what I say?  BRING IT ON.

We all have trauma/drama, loss, wounds.  Every. Single. One. Of. Us.  Even when it doesn’t show on the outside.  There are people stuck in their mental hell.  Entrapment from the inside out.  There are people who live in constriction every day, trying to control the uncontrollable (life).  Afraid of their own shadow.  Waiting for the worst to happen.  So no matter what it looks like, we all suffer in some form or another.

If we don’t let go, life gives us countless opportunities to rethink and rework our ways of being.  Because holding on tightly creates chaos on every level.  If we have a choke hold on everything and everyone in our lives, including ourselves, well…expect those kind of results.  Results like stress, fear, lack, dis-ease.  No joy.  Crappy relationships and work we hate.  And more.

But when we find a way to let go, even just a little, something miraculous happens.  And that miracle is called FLOW.

I was just tested on this not too long ago.  I had a date with a new guy I really liked and I know he liked me.  We’d have an amazing experience and then, he’d just disappear for a week or two at a time.  No communication, period.   I was left feeling…powerless and less than.  So, of course, I tried to control it.  I’d text him and get a response (Sometimes).  Or I’d call and leave a message.  And the more I did those things, the more he distanced himself.  But I’m so awesome, he just has to like me!

One night I found myself in tears, when my ever-so-wise roommate walked up to me and said, LET GO.  You’re holding on so tightly.  You’re digging, claws all in.  And nothing happens when you do that.

I then saw all the areas I thought I was allowing flow, in my life and business.   These areas begged the question “but how do I let go?”  And this comes from someone who lost everything to wildfire and who lost a breast to cancer.  I could’ve sworn I learned how to let go years ago but it goes even deeper. I started seeing that in order to really LET GO you have to strip yourself naked.  You must stand in a place of not knowing, not really having a plan, not being attached to anything.  Just the opposite of what the world tells you to do.

Total transformation.  Total emulsification, just like the caterpillar in the chrysalis.  Total and complete surrender.

So I ask you.  Where are you hanging on, holding on, clutching on?  Where are you trying to control things when in reality, you’re pushing those very things you want away from you?  Are you really ready to let go, surrender and “let Spirit?”

Letting go is not only a choice, but a way of being.  BEING open, surrendering, saying YES to things you don’t know, understand or see.  Things that seem impossible and things that are unresolved at present.  Being at peace with WHAT IS.  Letting go is a PRACTICE.  If you’re ready to begin your practice, you get to give yourself quiet time every day to sit in the willingness of the ability to let go.

And ask yourself this question…why is it more important for me to hang on, white-knuckled?  What benefit am I getting when I do this?  And what would happen if I just said I’M WILLING to learn to let go?

Everything you want is on the other side of fear, control and action.  Everything is energy.  What energy and intention are you putting out into the world and what is it attracting back to you?   We get to take action when it’s time.  The rest is all about alignment, trust, surrender and letting go.  What will you do today to really move yourself toward all that you want?   Spiritually, emotionally and physically?   Are you ready to take your transformation to the next level?

Life Coach

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