Chances are, if I ask you how you are this week, you might well answer with
Busy.
Busyness can be useful and is an important part of normal, 21st Century life. And letting go of busy is a hot topic these days.
Sometimes we are able to accomplish more when we are busier. And life is full of tasks, people, work, commitments that are valid and important. But busyness can also sometimes be a creeping, insidious thief of joy. It can rob us of precious moments to stop and enjoy what is going on RIGHT NOW, here, in front of us, because our minds are consumed with What Needs To Be Done Next.
In musing through my recent blog series on death bed regrets, I am seeking to make my own changes in how I live today. And a big part of that is choosing to be present now.
Letting go of busy.
Busyness changes with different seasons, and for different reasons.
It helps to come to an understanding of what is an acceptable level of busyness for Me, now, in THIS season.
This will differ from what you consider an acceptable level of busyness, and that is ok.
As always, letting go of judgement and comparison is helpful here. I am not judging you on how busy or otherwise you are – the choices you are making with your time and how you are directing your energy. Nor am I comparing myself with you. And this is also about letting go of judgement of ourselves, and that Being Present-killer:
Should.
I should be doing….”
Says who? And why? And to what end or with what outcome in mind?
Because if we are honest with ourselves, it can sometimes be convenient to wear our Busyness as a badge of honour. It can become a catch-all excuse for living on autopilot, not taking care of ourselves adequately, being irritable or snarky with loved ones. And here is a trickier one: we can all-too-easily use the excuse of being busy to avoid facing up to deeper issues that are going on inside us.
The only person controlling what is going on inside my head is me.
I am the only person responsible for my own choices.
More on that here. And that includes identifying what I am telling myself about how I am using my time, and where the busyness is coming from. Of course we are not in control of many aspects of that. There is much in our external worlds over which we have no control, or which are important commitments that warrant time and energy.
But in looking at how we are letting go of busy, I see that there is something over which I DO have control.
I can choose to be present right now, to what I am doing right now, and give it my focus and attention. I can choose to focus on one task at a time and allow my thoughts to be present to what I AM doing – be that talking to someone, writing emails, or chopping onions.
Productivity and efficiency are deeply scripted internal values for me. But this can come at a cost. It can be all too easy for me to be always rushing through the task I am doing now because I need to get onto the Next Thing, or my mind is whirring with the never ending mental To-Do list.
This definitely robs me of joy in the present moment, and also causes my body to be in heightened alert state all the time.
The busyness does not necessarily change, but my approach to what I am doing – one task at a time – does. In focusing on what I am doing in this moment, and working to keep my mind present to this task alone, I find that the constant mental chatter stills a little. My mind feels less busy and my body can relax more into what I am doing without being on alert for Getting Finished so I can rush on to the next thing.
Travelling too fast.
There is a wonderful story about the need to sometimes stop and let our souls catch up because we have been travelling too fast. You can read this hugely popular post here.
For me, repetitive tasks like chopping onions is a great space for my soul to catch up. To simply chop the onions and let my mind stay focused there alone brings a little breathing space.
Focusing on the task in hand also helps me to let go of measuring my day on achievement and completion and learn to enjoy the process as an end in itself. The task becomes mind-full rather than mind-less and this in itself feels calmer. More here on tips to stay present when busy.
Is this approach going to change the world?
Of course not. Letting go of busy is much more than this, and that is where we will go next. But for me, for now, learning to be present to what I am doing one thing at a time is stilling some of the mental chatter of busyness and bringing some calm.
