Understanding the Process of the Comeback
Have you ever been in a situation where you were dealt with unfairly at work? What about in life? I think everyone’s hand would be raised if asked these questions. The question is not if this has occurred in your life but when was the last time, or when is the next time!
A wise man once said that there are three kinds of trouble: The kind you are coming from; The kind you are headed into; The kind you are in right now!
Therefore the question is not really which trouble you are in, but rather exactly how we handle its effects in our lives. As a college and NFL coach for 25 years I have always imparted this simple truth to my teams: We don’t often control the bad things in life that happen to us, but we do control our reaction to it 100% of the time!
Enter the Super Ball Effect!
When I was a kid I loved Super Balls! The little rubber balls you could usually get for a quarter in a machine at the grocery store entrance, were a fixture in homes in the 60’s and 70’s. The little suckers were not fan faves of my parents because of the colossal amount of damage one of the tiny objects could do when bounced in my house on the kitchen floor! LOOK OUT!
Super Balls were super FUN for us kids though!
After working through a life change recently I began to consider just how Super Balls work. Originally made by Wham-o toy company, the Super Ball is a marble sized piece of rubber that is tough and resilient yet endlessly elastic and flexible. As small as it is when it gets going it can make a lot of things happen, or do some damage depending on your perspective! I like to look at them as a lot of FUN, so let’s focus on that outlook.
Be Vulcanized!
Originally the Super Ball was not tough enough on the outside and when first made they would often shatter or become badly chipped, losing the shape of the spherical bouncy ball it was meant to be. But through the process of vulcanization and some tweaks to the formula of rubber used, the balls were made to withstand just about anything. I remember having my dad run it over with his car. Not even a crack on the little ball!
First key to managing change in your life is to develop a tough exterior and outlook! We have had negative events and experiences hurt us before. We have survived them all until now. The flames of our past burnouts can vulcanize us to not fear a negative result and to get through the next difficulty we face. Rather than take hard times personally, we can keep our mind focussed on the good things we have going on in our lives and embrace the positivity of change. Especially since we likely can do nothing about it or have a limited response.
We don’t want to chip off pieces of what make us special just because of a temporary set back. And let’s face it, nearly all trouble is temporary. Take a look at how the ball contorts and reshapes when it hits the hard surface that temporarily smashes it and then soon after it’s back to its perfect shape.
Write down five times in your life that you have been vulcanized or toughened by your setbacks or disadvantages! Remember, calm seas don’t make good sailors!
1._____________ 2. ____________ 3. ______________ 4.___________ 5.____________
A New Way to See Flexibility
Next we need to take a cue from the elasticity inside of us and inside of the Super Ball! A Super Ball’s elasticity is created by the dynamic formula of rubber used in creating the tiny objects. The rubber allows for what scientists call a high ‘coefficient of restitution’. While I am more of a quant than a scientist, the easy way to describe what a coefficient of restitution is would be this:
If you drop a super ball at shoulder height, it recovers about 92% of its original height on the first bounce back. Nearly as high as where it was dropped from. Under normal circumstances a Super Ball will bounce many times and recover more than its height of inches originally dropped with each subsequent bounce. Drop a Super Ball from five feet and it will bounce a combined 95 feet!
For us our coefficient of restitution is our internal attitude about life. If we see life as hopeful and full of multiple opportunities we become very elastic when we fall and hit something hard. Here are four ways that we can remain more hopeful when tough times are approaching (and they always are approaching):
- Read positive things and good stories – focus on the good that people do
- Don’t watch a lot of TV news – it’s nearly all bad news
- Snooze Twitter – one of the most obvious sources of modern day derision and division
- Call your friends and family members who are upbeat or helpful people
- Do something good for someone near you even if you are not feeling the love
- Give 100% of whatever you have to give while serving
- Pray and meditate for good things to happen in your life
What do the tough, vulcanized shell and the amazingly elastic material all shaped into a ball do? Well the results are quite astounding! Super Balls when thrown onto the ground explode to incredible heights. If you release one from five feet high but throw it down hard, the ball bounces as high as 35 feet high! Each subsequent bounce is 92% of that height until gradually the ball returns to rolling on the ground. The greater the downward force on the ball the higher the ball flies after striking rock bottom.
We know that everyone faces challenges. When we have hope-skills like the four suggested here, you are able to rebound higher, faster than people who do not.
Move in new and exciting ways
But the Super Ball is not done yet! When it hits the ground after the initial impact, each time it strikes the ground the ball naturally pivots and bounces in a completely new and different direction! We call that pivoting in our lives. And we cannot be afraid of pivoting and taking advantage of other opportunities in life. We, like a Super Ball, can be very flexible as we leave the ground each time!
Back in April it came to my attention that I needed a career change. During the lockdowns my family had several challenges that occurred while we were enjoying life together at home. It meant that in order to facilitate the growth and upward trajectory of our family we would need to make an adjustment. A pivot. And we needed to use the energy (positive and negative) from our circumstances to make it happen. While the Super Ball constantly changes direction with each bounce, here are four ways we can pivot when we are impacted by striking bottom:
- Consider your skill sets. You have many. Jot down ten personal and professional skill sets and interests that you have
- Each skill set represents a potential opportunity zone to explore
- Take some time to be quiet
- You can have a lot of things come to you when you meditate. These thoughts are often the clearest pathways to follow, or deep concerns that can be addressed after your meditation
- Talk to mentors in your life who can listen to you
- Make sure to always keep a small list of mentors handy
- Mentors don’t cease mentoring you until they pass on
- Listen to your mentors. Let them talk. The more they talk the better. Do not interrupt a mentor. Focus on their advice. Some you may not use, but it does not take much good advise to make a colossal shift
Pivoting skills make life interesting and exciting!
We all face hard times at work, at home and sometimes in our health. Following the example of the Super Ball can provide you with the ability to:
- Be Vulcanized by the impact of your past setbacks to keep strong on impact!
- Be Elastic with a hopeful and opportunistic attitude on the inside to bounce higher!
- Be Flexible to pivot as many times as necessary to move past adversity!
